It’s a chaise-super-longue. It’s waterproof. It has eddies and swirls. It’s everyone's best seat in the house. It’s blue. It has no screws. It’s soft. It seats one to one thousand. It’s a round peg in a triangular hole. It won’t last forever. It's the world’s longest sofa. It will make your day better (you’re on your own tomorrow). It’s good to put your feet on. It’s good to put your butt on. It’s good to put your drink on. It doesn’t have batteries. It stays cool when it’s hot. It's a boogie board on the beach. It’s for kids to play on. It’s for everyone else to do everything else on. It’s stain-resistant. It looks good in evening wear. It looks even better in coconut oil. It’s foam, and that’s way better than rock.

Go figure.